She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
NoShamevember. You game?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
