i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
