You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Randomize
