Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
