i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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