About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
