The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
