they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
