were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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