Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
