ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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