How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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