I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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