k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
