Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
