you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
so much tequila, so little girl.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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