Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
