I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize