Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
