That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
