Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
