You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
