Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
