I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
