Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
