took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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