I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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