I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
