So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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