we have pet lesbian snakes
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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