I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
