Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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