Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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