Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Randomize
