My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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