It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
