You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
