i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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