I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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