did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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