i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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