beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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