do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
