Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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