I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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