Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
