I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
