So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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