Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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