i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
