Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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