I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
